A ‘Real’ Vampire Running for President 2012


Thanks to Bob Chorush for the heads up on this amazing article.

First, before going into this I am in the process of contacting this guy to have him on Zombie Popcorn Radio

Let us start with the News video to set the mood.

So what is this guys platform?

According to his website and yes he is a Republican;

Upon becoming elected, Jonathon will impliment the following Act’s into law. These new laws will make America a better place for all citizens.





Upon becoming President on 20 Jan 13, I will immediately make the following into Law!

1.IMMEDIATELY outlaw ABORTION. The only time abortion will be allowed is in case of Rape (then again once I start IMPALING RAPISTS, there will be no more rapes), in cases of incest or in a medical emergency.

2. IMMEDIATE bring our service personnel home from the war zones they are fighting in.

3. Better benefits for our veterans and military service personnel.

4. More aggressive steps to stop ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTION and make it an act of terrorism, hence punishable by IMPALEMENT by me!

5. The Paige Child Protection Act. No child should ever have to suffer abuse at the hands of one of their parents. Anyone found guilty of abusing children will be IMPALED personally by ME!

6. ALL Indian Casinos will have to pay taxes on the revenue they generate. This tax money will go to fund programs for Veterans.

7. The DWI/DUI 3 strike rule. If you commit 3 acts of DWI/DUI, or cause bodily harm/death, you will be personally IMPALED by me. Also, on your first or second conviction of DWI/DUI you will lose your automobile.

8. The Princeton School Board Act. The First Amendment of the US Constitution gives everyone the right of freedom of religion. Anyone who tries to deprive anyone in America their right of Religious freedom and/or expression will be IMPALED by me

9. Legalization of Marijuana and Prostitution. Though I do not use/smoke marijuana or have sex with prostitutes, upon becoming President, I will legalize marijuana and prostitution in all 50 States. The individual states will have control over these businesses and the money made from them will used to fund programs that supply medical, prescription and dental insurance for the citizens who cannot afford the proper coverage they need.

10. Business Blacklist Act. Any company that has previously been in America and has relocated to another country will be blacklisted from selling their products in America. No company will prosper by causing Americans to be laid off and their families suffer because the company decided to leave America for another country.

11. The Better Educational Act. In this day and age of the super techknowledgical age, the only way Americans can compete with other countries where techknowledgie is concerned, is to be better educated. My Administration will give grants to Americans who need assistance in being re-educated and receive advance training to compete in the world market.

12. The Fair Child Support and Visitation Act. In this day and age, money is tight. Hence, it is unreasonable to except a parent to pay an outlandish amount in child support. So, courts will have to a new fair scale to determine child support. Also, no parent will use their child as a weapon against the other parent. Every parent who is deemed non-dangerous to their child will have proper and just visitation rights to see their child. If the guardian parent impedes the other parent from seeing their child, they will IMMEDIATELY be charged with Contempt.

13. The Abuse of Power Act. Any elected or appointed official who is found guilty of abuse of power will be IMPALED by me. Also, judges, prosecutors, and law enforcement officers will have to get their own malpractice/misconduct insurance. No longer will judges, prosecutors, law enforcement agents have CIVIL immunity from suits arising from their negligence or misconduct. Needless to say, upon being found guilty of abuse, they will be IMPALED by me!

Wait there is more….


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About author

Jason Bayless

Jason Bayless is a life-long activist and is currently working at The Pachamama Alliance. When he is not working he spends, working with Center for Farmworker Families and spending his time recording shows, writing blogs, collecting 3D movies, and playing VR games.

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